jiffy lube.

well this one goes out to my rediculously sick friend, cant even visualize. i hope this little update in the chronicles makes you feel a bit better. so i needed an oil change thatis weekend. and i thought about the many places i could go and i remembered that the generous athletic department of BYU had given all of us a coupon for 7 bucks off of an oil change! well that was a great incentive for me to go! so i show up and i tell them i wanna use my coupon and the guy tells me that i can use my Student ID as well to get another 7 bucks off! that would total 14 bucks! (for all you uvsc students i added it up for ya) anyhow so i was stoked and uber pleased with my decision. they told me that they would be done in about an hour. so in the meantime my friend drew and i go to the local big lots and walk around to see with what kind of stuff we want to decorate our apt next semester. as we shop we remember our plan to get fly swatters to take to the basketball games and use them to taunt the other teams players when they get "swatted" by our team. (please dont write to the daily universe complaining about my "unsportsmanship") so we cant find them at big lots.... (turned out they have a big lot of nothing) so we went to rite aid which turned out to be wrong aid and we finally got to maceys where we found what it was we were looking for. anyhow oh and we stopped at the rentacenter and saw that big screen tv's are for rent for only 75 bucks a month! boo ya! anyhow this is supposed to be about jiffy lube. well about an hour and a half later we go back to jiffy lube and they still arent done with our freaking cars, so we go off to the marriott center to wait in line so we can get Utah tickets which was pointless for me because i have to go to rehearsal among other things... anyhow so while im sitting in the frozeness we call provo, outdoors, i get a call from the lube telling me that my car is ready, but they noticed some problems and asked if i wanted to fix them. now i had heard about how notoriously sneaky jiffy lube was, but i didnt think they would pull the same act on me. they told me about some things that i knew were wrong with my car and i agreed to have thme fix it after they quoted me some pretty decent and low prices. after i got my tickets (which i have to give away) i went to the jiffy lube and picked up my car. when i went to pay i should them the coupon and my student id but the man at the counter said "i can only accept one of those, company policy" i was flabbergasted! the man at the beginning said i could have both! but they refused to budge, so i took my lumps and left. on my way out i read the line items on my invoice and saw that they had charged me more for the extra crap they did than they had quoted me over the phone! oh man at this point i was livid!!!! so i went back into the store and i said "you quoted me 5.99 for this radiator cap, but you charged me 11.99!!!!" to which the lazy grease monkey replied "oh no they are 9.99...". i just about hit the roof when he said this! these high school dropouts had lied to my face on at least 3 occasions!!!! i was gonna rip the walls down and beat the guy with them! i couldnt take it so i just left in a huff with a head full of things i reallllly wanted to say to the grim covered theif! after that ordeal and after a lot of calming down from my homies drew and shankstick we went to the basketball game, sponosored by Jiffy Lube. karma.

House Council

three men sit in a living room all pointing fingers at each other. whose fault is it? is it the army-esque coed getting married in a few months? are his expectations too high? is it the easy going, somewhat sloppy, wanna be actor? Is his nonchalance messing with the fengshui of the apartment? or is it the lonely computer whiz, whose finesse with a digital sword is unmatched this side of the rockies? has his perpetual life in virtual reality destroyed his concept of all reality? and so they counsel... "im a slob i know, but i try to do my part" the affable actor protests. "I've been cleaning my own dishes and i havent complained about the warzone in our front room." the reference of war piques the interest of both the co-ed and the whiz, each for differing reasons. the betrothed hears war and thinks organization. the lonely thinks necromancers. the thespian goes on, "its really hard to invite people over when all i can hear is swords clanking, orcs dying, and cars racing. you need to have your computer in your room." this puts the computer-fancier on the spot and immediately he lashes out, "you dont have much to listen too on the tv anyhow! and besides last night watching batman begins, you were talking the whole time. someone sitting right next to me talking is a lot worse than hearing my video games going 5 feet behind you. i would invite friends over if our house was clean." using logic that would only be reasonable in the fantasy world he lives in, the cyberjunkie effectively makes himself look stupid. first off who would the hopeless gamer invite over? the last human contact he had was when he had to put a dime in the hand of the pizza delivery guy. drill sergeant cant stand it anymore and explodes like a land mine in a rice paddy. "ive been cleaning this house nonstop since i got here and none of you pipsqueaks seems to notice! cant you keep the house clean for an hour?!" he exasperatedly yells. the rivals go on and on jawing and moaning until they realize, that passiveness is the key.